Balcony...The stars at night are ........breathless..

Dining area + Living room

Kitchen...

My room...

Happy Gal...

Yay!! I finally got the internet working. Took me 3 hrs to get it fixed. I have no idea how. But i still managed it. Was actually quite frustrated yesterday morning when i left the house, cuz i spent $7 using my prepaid card to call Telstra so that they can call Australian post to find out where our internet kit was. But i got fed up cuz i was alwys put on hold. Went to school 1/2 an hr early to use the internet to contact Telstra instead. Scolded the consultant on their ineffiency and went for class (in a bad mood). How a great way to start my 1st day of school. Haha... Went back home after school about 2 and guess what.... Australian post came and left a calling card indicating i have a parcel waiting for me at Toowong. Jumped for joy around the house. Ate lunch and quickly walked to Toowong Post Office - which took us about 45 mins to walk from our house. Came back after grocery shopping and started using my lappi to install the modem and all.

Somehow, the wireless sercurity thing keeps failing to work. I have no idea how, i just started NOT following the auto setup, did the manual set up, register the modem and somehow, managed to do have wireless network after 2 and 1/2hr try. But somhow!!!! I don't have connection! The lappi shows i'm connected but i can't surf the net - i have no idea why. My other 3 roommates can surf the net freely!! Imagine how i feel?! I'm the one who set up the internet, but i can't surf it - but others can. What the heck is going on?! In the end, i have to use direct cable and now, the whole modem is in my room. Lucky my room is near the cable, if not...i 'll just cry.

Oh well... spent the whole night talking to my parents, kare and my friends online. Hurhur. Like finally... And now, we all have something to do in the house. Not as bored as last week....= )

Quite disappointed with the pol-ite results. Lucky i'm not in the team anymore. IF not, i have no idea where to put my face.

Miss kare lots.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

ARGH!!

My web cam doesn't work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't talk to my parents, neither to my Kare.... What the heck!? I can see myself, but not the other side... My web cam has no problems... Its the network itself. Argh!! Frustrating. *Pray hard that the house internet can work.

Come Monday, I hope the internet will be settled by then. There's already one assignment posted up in elearning. It's a Lit review!! After my final year project, i have a phobia on doing lit reviews. *Freaking out!

Oh well, went for service this morning at a nearby church. It's called Chinese Christian Church Brisbane, CCCB for short. It's not bad, not as strict as LifeBP. There's drums, guitar, bass, organ and piano to go with the songs. Quite casual. Plus the people who holds the service are all quite young. Probably students or PRs living here in Brisbane. It's not bad, just that they use the new english version of the bible and i use the king james version. So i was abit lost, when they were reading the scriptures. Hopefully i can check out the churches kare is gonna send me later.

Oh well, going grocery shopping now...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

why why why

Damn it. The internet package did not come and it's already saturday. Went to Helensvale yesterday for some factory outlet shopping. Took us 1 1/2hr to get there by train and bus. Consession fee is about $8.40. Not bad, as we needed to travel all the way to zone 12 to get to habourtown in Helensvale. Not really fanstatic though. The things there are quite expensive actually (compared to USA's factory outlets). Only managed to buy 2 tee shirt that's of reasonable price only. Maybe next time get candies there. Maybe because now it's winter season, most shops were selling cold wear like jackets, track suits. No bikinis or sundresses. Will try again once i finish my exams. Will pop there again during the summer season.

Shopped there till 4pm and it started getting dark. Went to Queen St to settle the internet thing and the guy told me Australian post lost our internet package kit. Will have to call them on Monday morning so that they will call Australian Post to check. ARGH! This internet thing is getting on my nerves. It's not that i need the internet to surf net or what... i want to talk to my parents, kare and all.... ARgh. It's been 2 weeks plus since i talk to anyone of them. And actually looking at them. =` (

Weather here has been crazy. It was 4 degrees for the past few nights. There was this guy who told Alicia that Brisbane has never experienced such cold winter. Haiz. Must it always be me to experience such things? I don't like cold. I always prefer hot than cold. Sweaty than freezing to death. At least i won't be shivering. I rather burn in hell than freeze in hell. Argh. It's crazy! Alicia's parents brought all of us plus Melissa out for dinner at Sunnybanks on Thursday night and the cold was terrible! That was when i miss Kare's hugz..... Haiz. No choice. I forced Yx to hug me. Making us look like lesbians while wating for our buses. The food there was not bad though. The Singapore restaurant was very packed so we had to eat at another Cantonese Restaurant. Seems like the Singapore restaurant there is very popular. It's called Singapura Lah something like that. Selling curry, hokkien mee and things like that. By the time the bus dropped us at our house's bus stop i was practically jogging/running/jumping home but at the same time admiring the billions of stars. Once we were home, we switched on the heater on full blast. Lol. It was that bad. But now that i have experienced the colder cold. It's much better now when the temperature goes up in the day. I think my pores can only tighten that much. It would take me awhile to get use to Singapore's humid and hot weather when i get back.

Oh well, going to school later to use the internet. I need to print my notes and all...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Bored

Something weird happened yesterday. Everyone realised that everyone is very bored after dinner. Somehow, the girls gathered in Yx's room and after while, everyone including roy camped in my room talking about....everything and nonsensical stuff. The girls stayed to watch Tokyo drift till about 12 plus. Hope they slept well after that. Lol.

Internet package did not come yesterday, Which was the main reason why everybody was so bored at home. All of us then realised that we were kind of cut off or as roy said, disconnected from the world for about 1 1/2 weeks. But we seem to be handling it quite well. The main things to do everyday is plan for lunch and dinner, wash laundry and wait for internet package to arrive. Lol.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

1st email sent by papa to me. It's so hilarious. Can't believe that pa can actually write such stuff to me. Lol. I was laughing to myself in the library. So embarrassing. But i had a warm fuzzy feeling when i read it. It's kinda weird. We're like a typical chinese/asian family. No hugging or saying 'love you' such stuff. But somehow, not long ago, probably just after i graduate, i feel that i've become closer to my parents. Not in the sense of distance, since i'm in Brisbane now, but in terms of relationship. I'm closer to my dad now than ever. I'm very glad about that. Now, i feel that our family has a western feel to it. I dunno, maybe because i'm going to be gone for like 4 years now.... So... I dunno.

Oh ya, i said 4 years instead of 6 because....HAHA! I have good news!! Went for orientation today and guess what the Dean said!! He says that we have direct entry to do PhD after doing Honours! Isn't that great?!? That means after 1 degree, 1 year honours project, i can go directly for my PhD! I save another 2 years!! Woohoo!!! Even for Uni of Melbourne, it's the same. Woohoo!! So happy! I save 6 years compared to doing my studies in Singapore. Isn't that a really good piece of news?! Yay!! I gotta tell Kare soon. = D I hope he'll be glad. = )

Hopefully my internet package comes in tomorrowwwwww..... *Prays. I'm gradually getting used to the weather/temperature here now. AT least i can walk around in the house with just shorts on and not feel like my toes are dropping off any moment. But it's getting colder everyday. When i first arrive here, it's about 9degrees at night. Now it's about 6degrees at night. But bathing is still a torture though. When i wake up in the morning, it's still a struggle to climb out of my warm nest. Oh well, i managed to catch the last episode of Desperate Housewives just now. Haha.... Somehow, it's my lucky day. Hope it's Kare's lucky day too. Haiz. Miss Kare lots.

I made/decorated my bed with lots of personal touches. I'm sleeping with my 'handmade lovingly by my mummy' blanket, kare's perfumed jacket, duvet and duvet cover, pillow and pillow case bought and chosen by daddy, my dogs (mudpie-shared with kor). Such a warm nest. How to get out of bed every morning?!

Oh well, nitey...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Day by day

Kare sounded very upset when i picked up his call at 2pm. I knew then that something was wrong. Maybe i did something wrongly. Then he asked why didn't i pick up his call when he called 2 hrs ago. Hmm...Cuz i was busy cooking lunch for 6 people? And ididn't hear my phone ring. So sorry. But it took me 1hr to cook and 15 mins for them to wallop everything up. Cooked chicken noodle soup for everyone. Not an easy task. Lol. IT was an experience cooking for so many people.

But it was good to hear Kare's voice. Very good actually. Was very happy the whole day. = D Thanx sweetie. For calling and all. How i wish the internet package would arrive soon. Listening to one of your favourite ( not what i like) song from Robbie Williams. Even though i don't like it, the song is still kinda special to me. Cuz we'll always argue abt Robbie Williams right?? Right Kare? I still don't really like him. I don't know why. He is not handsome or hot. AT ALL. Don't understand why the girls go for him. Dunno why.

Went to school today to use internet. Somehow my emails get lost too. Smses don't work. No wonder Kare sounded upset. But it's not my fault if i dun receive it!! I don't know why also.... But i will msg every night ok. I try.

Yanxia said there's a factory outlet at gold coast and she's gonna bring us there on Thursday. Hopefully there are things that i want there. Things i wanted to get US but couldn't. = ) Before school even start, i'm already spending money.... Damn. Have to scrimp and save this week. And maybe the next. Living expenses in Aussie is quite expensive. Food is not cheap, even when you cook at home. Of course it's cheaper than eating outside, but still, it's much higher than in Singapore. Even home grown fruits or meat here is more expensive. Eg. Pork. didn't we have airpork in Singapore? Pork is about 20% more expensive than Singapore. Even apples, oranges... it's 3x the price in Singapore. I have no idea why. Is the labour here more expensive than the shipping cost to singapore? That's weird. Pork here is more expensive than beef or chicken. Chicken fillet is more expensive than chicken drumsticks. Works different entirely in Singapore. 12 drumsticks cost A$6.50. 2 chicken fillets cost A$13. In singapore chicken rice stall, the drumstick is the best part and the most expensive! It's weird here.

Kare is damnnnn cute. Juz called me. Spoke like there's no tomorrow. Lol. 30 words in 5secs flat. He makes me laugh. Love him lots. Kare, i love you lots. Good that you've found a new job. Hope you'll do well in it. = ) Coach people until they turn pro k! When i come back, make sure u coach me till i turn pro too. = ) *hUgz* Haiz... Love it when i hear his voice. Miss you lots.....
Miss my family too. Miss singapore's weather. Here in brisbane, everything you so like eating, sleeping, bathing also cold. Can't appreciate the cold. But i muz try to embrace it. Get used to it.
I know Kare will keep me warm....

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Sunday

Yx came back and i felt much better. At least there was some familarity. Finally.
Went to town with her and her sis. Her sis took us around and taught us how to use the public transport without spending too much money on it. Alicia's gonna come back tomorrow and hopefully, get some grocery shopping done in the afternoon.

I still can't get my dates and days right. Keep thinking it's much later than usual cuz the days are so short. It's very dark after 5 and it feels like 8pm. But the stars are still like crazy. Still clear sky after so many days. I hope it rains some day. But hopefully it doesn't get any cooler. It's the most terrible after a bath. Cold till you shiver like crazy. Plus when the warm water hits your hands and feet, it has the burning feeling cuz it was too cold. It takes awhile for the hands and feet to get warm.

Still homesick like crazy. My emotions are like in high motion or something. If anyone mentions family, singapore or anything to do with back home, my emotions would go crazy.

Prayed to God. Asked Him to give me strength. Felt better after that. Thankfully.

Ei Leen

Papa Left

Papa left at 11am. Teary goodbye. Not exactly goodbye cuz i couldn't say it. Was choking in my tears. So i just waved. Goodbye sounds bad, cuz it's never a good bye. It's a bad bye. I hate saying goodbye. Sounds like i'll nv see him or anybody i've said goodbye to.
Once papa left, i felt so lonely. I'm all alone in Aussie. Though i have friends here, it's not like my family is here. When pa came with me, it didn't feel so bad. But now that pa has left, i couldn't take the loneliness. How i wish Alicia and Yx would come back from their trip soon. Roy and his parents have gone out. All alone in the house.

Cooked lunch. Miserable meal. The whole house was so quiet, have to play some music to create some noise, hoping it'll help to take away some loneliness. It didn't help. Was crying through mid-meal. Thinking about alot of stuff. Why did i choose to live in a foreign land all by myself, making myself so miserable. I can't take cold. Most people know that by now, and it's like freezing cold here all the time. KARE! WHERE ARE YOU!? But at the same time, i know i must learn to be independent, not to rely on my parents all the time.
I know i have been very sheltered all my life. Even now, i consider myself to be quite sheltered by my loving parents because they have sponsored me to be here. I know i have to pay them back as soon as possible. That is the only thing that drives me now. I must get a job as soon as i graduate and earn money so that i can pay back my parents for whatever they have invested in me and my education.

I appreciate everything much more now. My blanket, made lovingly by mummy, my bolster cover, also made with loving care by mummy. Kare's jacket, mug and nightmare b4 xmas lamp, Dr Lim's book, my photo albums made lovingly by my dear friends. I need all these to survive out here. Thank you so much everybody. I don't think i can make it without these stuff. Thanks pa, for everything. Thanks for thinking about my safety and wellbeing all these while. Thanks for accompanying me everywhere. Will definitely miss your naggings and advices.
The house is nice. Will post the pictures up soon. The drought is still on in Aussie. Therefore, water usage is very important. Each person is only allowed 140 litres a day. That means- 4mins shower per day, 3 flushes per day, small load of clothes to be washed by hand. There's no clouds in Brisbane. Zilch. Zero. Clear sky all day. The only good thing is you can see millions of stars at night. I'm serious. Millions. The sky seems to be dusted with stars. Really beautiful. Kare, you should really be here. You'll lvoe it here in Brisbane. Cool and dry weather, stars at night. The bad thing is there's no rain. It's been 6 years since Brisbane has seen rain. Therefore, the drought.

I must be strong. I will strive it out here myself. I must make it back in Singapore in November.
God, give me strength.

xoxoEi Leenxoxo

'I should have....' kinda situation

Yup. I should probably give up on you sooner if i knew you were going to say that.
Dun deny that you didn't say it cuz both of us heard what you said.
I'm damn damn super damn disappointed in you. I placed my hopes on you, specially meet up to talk to you. Instead, i felt like i was in a warzone with you shotting directly at me. And i'm just trying to dodge the bullets.
I told you not to be so narrow minded already. But did you take my words in? Apparantly not.
You want to talk to me about my weaknesses? Don't start. Let's talk about yours first. Yours are definitely more serious. If you're still going to be so stubborn? No point helping you anymore. I will say no more to you about your game.
I wash my hands off you.

My weaknesses. Don't say i don't know them. I have a 'pro' boyfriend who watches my game and tell me my faults. Yes, initially i may defend myself, but afterwhile, i realised that, hey! Those are really my mistakes! At least i ACKNOWLEDGE my MISTAKES.

• Forehand - Body turned too quickly, don't jump when hitting the shot, feet stay on the ground, left hand point to the ball
• Backhand - Could do more with accuracy, balance my feet
• Serve- Nothing much, maybe more spin?
• Volley - NO BACKSWING
• Smash - Anticipate the height of the ball

Yup. The rest is up to experience. There is only so much i can do with the basics. But one of the most important key is to have experience. You cannot just keep playing your own game. You must be adaptable to adjust your game accordingly in order to win. If i can win by just popping the ball in, WHY NOT?! Why must i waste my strength to bash the ball so hard!?

Ok. Enough, I'm done helping you.

Sometimes i rally hope you stumble upon my blog. But i'm afraid you may not be able to take it.

Whatever.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

My frustrations, disappointments and downfall

It's haunting me. I have to get it out. I guess this would be THE way to help me overcome this.

We could have won. Let me rephrase that. We SHOULD HAVE WON. What the heck. The Gold medal should be OURS. I'm not being a sore loser here. But hello, they didn't win it fair and square. I REALLY hope they feel guilty for the REST of their LIFE. I'm not usually so aggressive in directing such crude remarks, but I'm feeling damn disappointed here.

Yes, maybe I should have been more aggressive with the line call when I'm not sure. I should not have let my partner affect me since I know that she doesn't have any tournament experience. But what the hell, I'm fighting the battle alone. ALONE.
Why?
Because I have to fight 2 opponents across the net, I have to fight against myself, control myself not to bash the ball really hard even though I really want to do that to EVERY SINGLE DAMN BALL, fight against myself to control my patience to wait for the perfect ball to end the shot and win the damn point, fight against my will to scold my partner for every bad shot she made, fight the will to keep nagging and reminding her to keep the ball in rather than bash the ball, but she still doesn't trust me and still not enough patience to wait for a perfect ball to execute the shot.
And when we lose a point, I have another additional thing to fight for. Win another 2 more points so I can cover the loss.

MY GAWD. I'm like mentally and physically exhausted. Like really 200% mentally exhausted. I think I used up all my brain juices just to fight the mental battle. I've to hold myself back all the time, just waiting. Waiting and hoping they stop attacking my partner and hope that they hit an accidental shot to me so I can end the stupid point. I don't think I have done my best. I really don't. Even though outsiders like my advisor, Stanley, my coach and Robz watched the match, they keep saying that they saw how hard I have tried and it's alright. BUT IT'S NOT. It is so NOT! I know I could have done better, I really really regret 1 shot. Which was the short ball at the net, it was a SITTING DUCK!! And I overdrived it and hit out when I could have aim the TP girl standing directly infront of me at the net. I was probably thinking too much about ending the point. I know.... normal humans make mistakes. Even the pros have unforced errors. But hello! It was an extremely important point! It was during tiebreak somemore. Oh gawd. I don't think i can forgive myself for making that stupid mistake. I know i have made mistakes during the match, but i really gave it all during really important points like break points and holding on to my serice game and hopefully my partner's service game. I tried to break the opponents early and gain points.....

Robz told me i did my best. Stanley told me it was a waste to partner my partner. Gopi said it's alright, we did our best on court. But i refuse to take it in. I could have done so much better. What was i thinking on court at that time?! I really don't know why I held back myself during some many points when I could have gone for it, hit a winner and end it fast. The opponents were tired, made them run for their lives for the ever so high lobs of ours, won a few important points to stay in the match. Truthfully, I was really disappointed in myself for not telling my partner off during the important points. I didn't know if I really told her off, what effect would it have on her. Would she would mentally affected? And instead lose the point? When she said she wanted to go for it at matchpoint, I said nono!!! Just keep the stupid ball in, but she kept mumbling- I'll go for it, no more mercy. I kept saying nono!!! But the opponent was already ready to serve and too late, she drived the ball into the net.
My heart dropped.
All my efforts. Gone down the drain.
I fought back from 2-5 down to 6-8 down to 8-8 tiebreak. Oh GAWD. My efforts. Ruined by miscommunication.

I don't want to push the blame to my partner. Because doubles is based on communication and chemistry between the 2 partners. So i admit that i AM at fault for not scolding her for the mistakes she made. Well duh, cuz i don't really know her mental state at that point, she's also very defensive about her game. I don't know if once I tell her her, would she have a mental breakdown? Wouldn't that be much worse? I don't know?! Now it's a 'IF ONLY' situation. If only I had done this, would that have happened? If only I had done that, would this have happen? I hate to regret!! I REALLY HATE TO REGRET!!!!

Was collecting my silver medal just now. My mood was totally terrible. I have neglected my kare. Broke down after taking photos with everyone. Really sorry to everybody about my behavior. But my frustrations were haunting me. Nightmares, thinking about it every night since the defeat, stoning about my mistakes. I really regret that i didn't try hard enough.

Really sorry to kare. Hope u'll forgive me and understand my behavior. Raelly under alot of stress. The stress may have been unnecessary placed on me by myself, but i really feel i'm at fault too. I could have done much better.

lazy

Lazy...Lazy.... i rather go read up my bible and do some discovery than wait for the stupid blogger to finish its maintenance thingy...

Ok...so...what's been going on?

1. i passed my driving test
2. Only on the second attempt
3. Still having my attachment ( 1 more month to go!!! Yay!!!)
4. I can't wait to return to school
5. Alot of rubbish going on between us and our NP supervisor
6. Apparantly, she's having post natal blues ( 99% confirmed by our NUS supervisor)
7. That's why we're given s*** from NP supervisor
8. NUS students are sad, moody, weird, talk-too-much, nothing-else-better-to-do-except-gossip kinda people
9. IVP is going on
10. We're head-to-head with TP (currently quite strong)
11. They are FORCED to SPY on us!!! ( By the coach)
12. If not they're given PT as punishment

Enough update....gonna watch ANTM.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Oblivious

Okay... Oblivious.

I know.. i've been really distracted lately... by many stuffs and i realised that i have neglected some important stuffs..

People around me.. People i care about around me.. Things have been going on and i did not even realised it. I seriously don't know why i did not realise any of these things... I guess i was just so caught up in my own world, the things happening around me, that i did not realise that stuffs have been going on to people surrounding me.

Hmm... i don't know what can i do now..but well... if there's anything i can help... i would have done it...if only i knew. People care so much about me and i.... took it for granted....

Sorry...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I was taken advantage of!! AHHH!! Or that's what i really think!

Was returning home today after watching movie. Took the mrt home. Wore skirt today. Was coming out of Braddell mrt station on the escalator when i feel something tickling my leg! Turned around. Saw this guy 1 step behind me, holding his handphone under my SKIRT!!! IN BETWEEN MY LEGS!!!!!!

ARGH! His handphone's lanyard was tickling my right calf!!! But the thing is... his phone is the sony ericsson orange/white walkman phone which can't take photos with screen facing up. But my parents, brother and bf said it's very easy and quick to just flip the phone around. But i saw the handphone screen was blue ...not really a upskirt picture of me. I'm not really sure! But WHAT THE HECK IS HIS PHONE DOING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS!!!!!! I mean... it's so near that his bloody dangling thing on his handphone is tickling my right calf! Nobody uses his phone so bloody far front and touch the other person in front right?!

So am i a victim of a upskirt photo?! Seriously... i dunno.. but girls! PLEASE beware of such person at Braddell MRT station! Argh... I have a fear of that place already!!

The thing is... i was reaching the platform soon and had to turn around to watch my step... After i reached the platform, he rushed into the toilet! ARGH!!!! That's when i quickly called kare... Who asked me to wait outside the toilet.. but i didn't dare! I can't possibly make a scene!!! How to!??!!?

WHAT to do?!!? What to do?! What if my photo pops up in the internet! I WILL DIE! I will commit suicide!! How to face the world?! Why people like to take my photo!??!?! A few months back a group of freshly graduated o secondary school students took my photo on a 174 bus!!! Just becuz i look like their friend!! Can ask porkie about that stupud incident! ARGHHH!!! What is happening to this world!??!?!

And for heaven's sake!! My skirt wasn't even THAT short! It's above my knees!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! HOW?!?!?!??!

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Lost

I feel lost...

Like a lost sheep trying to find my way home.. trying to find my shepherd...

By the way... Where's my guardian angel?

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

my photo skills not bad ar..= )

not bad la huh... that's what's left... after like half an hr..

Food... glorious food.... Rosti, pizza, crepes, vege, mashed potato... stingray... Wah lao...

Well well....

Day started happily... Met up with the girls!... Yay~! We had a big family dinner. And i mean BIG! How can we ever ordered 6 dishes for 3 girls... which only 2 of us had very BIG appetite? Lolz. But not bad la.. Alicia ate quite alot la...= ) Proud of ya!

Food! Glorious food~!... Lol.

Though we had healthy dessert! Haha... MeiJi Yogurt! Wanted to eat ben and jerry's ice cream... But.. managed to psycho Yanxia to eat healthily. Hehheh... Was cheap and good! Good choice. Haha...

Day didn't end on a good note though. Met Robz abt 6. Left Yanxia by herself at MPH to wait for her sis and shepherd's pie. Robz had gastric... My poor baby... Haiz. See la... don't eat regular meals la... Then now suffer lo. Haiz. Rush to get him soya milk... to sooth the stupid stomach..but no use. Then send him home lo... Haiz.... my poor baby...

But.... at least we had fun taking photos and *ahem* videos....

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

What happening to this world?????

I can't believe it. Till now... even after what....4 hours? I still can't believe it.

I can't believe that people actually want to poison me. They wanted to add laxatives in my water bottle and poison me. What have i done to anybody? Not just me. They want to poison 2 other guys too. What have these people done to them? Seriously, people are born like that, so be it. Accept them. Do not judge them.

I'm 19 this year. I can truthfully say that i have absolutely never ever thought of wanting to kill anybody or even hurt anybody. I have no such thoughts of getting a knife, hammer, scissors or laxatives to hurt anybody. I dod not have gruesome ideas to hurt anyone like dig out their intestines or stuffs like that ot chop them up or some gross idea to make them suffer. But i do have thoughts that there will be retribution to the other party if i have been wrongly accused of something. I mean, what goes around comes around. I believe if i have wrongly accused someone or what ever, i believe it will come back and find me and KARMA will happen.

I just can't believe that people at the age of approaching 20 are still behaving like little kids. Come on. Please grow up and think rationally. Don't be a dog and follow others or lick people's boots so that you get onto their good books. GROW UP. Seriously. Please stop pissing me off.

Well, I'm glad that i'm still alive and kicking. Nothing serious happened. But if 1 day, something do happen to me or the 2 guys, i know who to point and who's the murderer.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Now you see me...

Now you don't

Haiz..

Ok... 'Holidays' are starting again. 2 weeks off. But what's the difference? It's packed with projects. Am trying to spend as much time as i can with my family and Robz.

Common test was... alright. I know i won't be able to score well. Cuz i know my answers aren't that precise and answered completely. Haiz. I hope i can do well this semester. It's weird. I dunno why Ngee Ann have to change the school schedule to 2 weeks break after common test and struck off the study break. Then the students will have to rush to study during the week before the common test. It's so jam packed with projects and stuffs already... still gotta study for the damn tests. A little tad stupid to strike off the study break. The study break was super useful to me... At least i get to study at the pace i want, not like now. Now i feel so guilty for not putting aside more time to cram in the stuffs.

Had my Class bbq today. WAH~! When i was on the way to East Coast in bus 31. So many irritating things happened. My gawd. Almost vomitted after i alighted. No offence to malays or chinese cuz both racial group offended me just now. This was what happened. Was sitting at the back of the bus with Robz. Then a group of malays boarded the bus at kallang mrt station. 2 girls 2 boys. The stupid girl...just because she got a new phone... wanted to show off her mp3 handphone. What's the point! Bloody hell. She was blasting music in the bus like she owned the bus. Damn noisy la! So irritating. And she was damn bad to her boyfriend. She kept pulling his ears for whatever reasons and kept trying to squeeze his pimples. I know what she was doing cuz she and her bf sat in front of us. The music was giving me a migraine and Robz couldn't take it also. So he whipped out his nano and blasted my and his ears with it. The thing was that, throughout the ride, i was staring daggers at that inconsiderate girl and her friend noticed and ask her to turn the volume down. U know what the girl replied? She said damn loudly la. Btw, she said, ' But i just bought the phone. It's new! I wanna try it.' Even though the conversation was in malay, i could roughly understnad what they were talking about. SO DAMN INCONSIDERATE! Ok... Never mind. They got off at Marine parade. Finally! It felt like eternity. Then what the hell. A group of Cheena boys boarded the bus and blasted chinese songs! WAH LAO EH. I couldn't take it anymore. Robz and i were like practically pulling our hair off. We couldn't wait to get off the bus. I just can't understand why these people are so inconsiderate. I mean, the bus isn't theirs! Wear headphones for heaven's sake! The passengers in the bus won't appreciate you for sharing your music. So please! Think of others' feelings before you do anything. Argh! So inconsiderate.

The Bbq was.... alright. I expected only the ex-2M01s to come. And yup! Only the 2M01s came plus pam. Well, she had to come..because.... her 'promise' to peel prawns and eat up all the food. Luckily i 'underbought' everything. There was still quite alot of food left. Dr Koh came too. Was really surprised that he came so early to help us. His willingness to dirty his hands and all... Really appreciated it, Dr Koh! Thanx for coming down! Thanx to Pam and Jia jia for helping me to get all the food. Thanx to Yew Teck for helping to start fire.... And didn't get to eat much as he had to rush off for trainging. Sorry if your gf is kana pissed with us. I dunno if she's pissed...but ya.... She looked pissed and probably felt a little lonely there. Hoped the 4 guys will enjoy their night cycling. Take care of your health.... Dun tire yourselves with FYP and all. = )

Most of all, thanx to kare! For helping carry the stuffs to East Coast for me and endured the bus ride. Lol. Love ya... Thanx for visiting me and trying to carry me and hugged me and covered me with all your dirty sweat. Gross but luckily, i love to hug you. Haha... *muackz* Hope you enjoyed your outing with your friends too. Sorry if i kinda interrupted your outing. Haaaa....= )

You love me right? = P

Will load up the photos when Mei leng send them to me...hopefully they're nice enough to load up. Haha... = ) Well, i have to look pretty gross due to the smoky and greasy bbq.

Well well, for these 2 weeks, i hope i get to blade, watch the shows i wanna watch, spend as much time with my friends, kare and family... and get enough rest.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

I miss

I miss my straight hair....
I miss my kare....

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Turkey guys... Not bad ar...

Pa acting strong...

Sista!? Nono...my aunt. = )

Turkey ice cream!!!! *yum*

My Bro... how old you think he is???

They're twins. See the difference? *hint* Their style of dressing.

Trojan horse, Turkey. A gift from the movie set.

= )

Ok…here we go… it’s gonna be a long one.

Well well, as you can see, I dun have much time nowadays to really blog. Either I’m too tired, a little tad lazy (which also means I rather sleep) or I’m really busy with all my commitments. In a blink of an eye, 5 weeks of semester came and gone, 2 weeks later, I’m gonna have my common tests.

Though I’m taking 3 modules, 2 are only tested for common tests, but I feel the 2 modules are quite a big load. Dunno why. Maybe cuz both are heavy subjects. Takes a lot of time to digest the facts and apply it. Maybe it’s the lecturer. ARGH! Especially the PSCT teacher. Gawd!! She makes everyone in the lecture go crazy. The best thing is, she says we’re too quiet in class. We don’t answer her when she asks us if we understood what she taught. And she keeps asking us to inform her (or speak up) if we don’t understand what she said. Well, when we answered no for both of those things, she gets impatient and very irritated with us. Like she’s wondering why we’re so stupid and can’t understand her. Geez. And I can’t stand the way she teaches. Haiyoh. It’s a wonder that I don’t scream in frustration during class. But I know I keep ‘tsking’. Lol. I know Pammie is quite annoyed with me for doing that. But I can’t help it. She keeps stuttering when she tries to explain the notes. ARGH. Enough. Later got KARMA. Lol. Proteomics is okay. Not bad. But it’s about proteins!!!! Argh. Proteins are like women. So complex. Ok. Not funny.

Well well, I did manage to take a small little break. Dunno if it’s considered a break cuz for the holiday, I kept walking and walking and walking..till my legs almost gave way. Managed to sneak into Hong Kong over the Vesak holiday. A little break for me since… last June when I went to Turkey. Well, shopped a lot and walked a lot too. Bought lots of stuffs but my favourite would have to be the coca cola cap earring. Lol. I think that’s my best buy. Oei Celeste, Von, Liyana…. Wemuz meet up 1 day k…wanna pass u guys stuffs. = )

Alicia girl! And Yx… Bought u guys stuffs also…but it’s errr… perishable. Gonna expire soon. So Pammie and I ate it up. Lol. Sorryyyyyyy……

Kare… Sorry to upset u these days. Dunno what’s going on with me… Distracted of some sort. I really dunno. Give me some time to adjust back. Maybe go to the root of the problem and sort it out soon. Hmm. Thanx for sticking with me and forgiving me and doing all the things for me. Thanx.

*hugz*

Well, had fun in the class today. Think I’m gonna miss my classmates when I graduate. The people from 2M01 2005 are really different from 1M05 2004. I dunno how to say it in words, but I’m really glad that I was able to meet the 2M01s. = ) Now that we’re in 3M02, well, with the ever ‘funky’ Pammie, life is never a bore, unless she’s tired and becomes grouchy. It’s such joy to have Pammie as one of my good friend. = ) *hugz*

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

too lazy to post..

sorry.

Moody...cranky...

I dunno what's with me for the past 1 week. Ever since i screwed up the experiment during integrated lab on wed, i've not been my usual self. Tried to find peace by reading my books and spening time with kare, but nothing works. Training was boring. Having tennis trials for guys and girls., so the courts are like..packed with people.

First, integrated lab sux. To the core. SO MUCH INCUBATION TIME! GAWD. Wasting time while the plasmids are being cut up by enzymes. I felt like i was wasting my youth away. Hello?! The waiting time is not short... IL is 5 hrs each week. I spent like 4 hrs waiting for the plasmids tbe chopped up. 4 times 16 weeks... Uh oh... That's like.. sixty over hours!! I can do so much more stuffs! Anyway, Dr Koh changed the marking scheme and if you fail to get results during prac, that's it. 80% gone. HAHA......... Good luck to myself. I screwed up the 1st prac. Wheee!... In the end, went to redo on fri morning. Finally, got results, but my marks will still remain at 7/10 instead of 10/10. If not, Robz would have drown in my tears by now. Haha...

2ndly, training was boring. I wanna play tennis. I wanna hit...but.... SO many people! I feel like i'm trying to fight for a place to run in the courts. Haiz. Jail was quite fun until i got stuck in jail. Geez... Anyway, played my doubles for STA Open just now. Got raped again, by Rita and Sue. But it's alright la.. at least me and jas got some experience. Though Sue gave me her namecard. She's working in Research Laboratories!! CEO LEH!! Dun play play! Lol. So honoured to play against her. Haha... She offered me to look up for her next time when i graduate though! Sounds like i've a job waiting for me!! HEHHEH!! She's recruiting now though..but i'm still stuck at NP studying and wasting time during IL. So anybody wanna have this job..contact me ya! = ) Having Singles tomolo. Haiz. I hope i win. Truly, i wanna win.

Sorry kare. I know i've been such an a** this week. Sorry. *hugs and kisses*

Oh ya...i didn't get to go Malacca! Damn! Stupid Open.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Geez...

*Sigh...

Holidays are ending in about....4 hours? Starting school tomorrow.. I dread, i dread. 2M01 got separated. I'm the only girl in 2M01 ending up in 3M02. WHY WHY WHY? Why am i always the one getting separated from my friends? Just when i settled in with my new classmates in 2M01. they had to separate me from half, nono, probable like 3/4 of them away from me. There's me, mick, don, kim heng, rus, yew teck and pam. These are the only people i know from my new class. Weord, there are biotech people in my class. WEIRD. Anyway, at least the more fun people are in my class... namely kim heng and his partner-in-crime. Hope we'll have fun during practicals again. = )

Booked my driving test. It's on 10th july. Hopefully common test is not during that period. It's a monday and i hope nothing clashes. Am spreading my remaining 5 lessons and 2 revisions from May to July. I WILL PASS MY DRIVING!! *Hopefully, hopefully.

Am going Malacca next week, during the labour day holiday. And then am off to Hong Kong on 12 may i think, for a short trip. Couldn't tahan the 'holiday' i'm suppose to have and asked my parents to PLEASE bring me out of singapore. Lol. Luckily they agreed. Yay! And i get to go HK. But i have to leave Kare behind. Haiz. Wish i could sneak him in my lugguage but....guess i couldn't. Hopefully he'll be able to get that part time job at john little.

Well well, gotta get mentally ready for school..... ciao.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Dun nag at me anymore.... = )

Okee... Alot... and i emphasis ALOT of people has been nagging me to update me blog..

1. Cuz they thought i had MIA
2. They dunno what i'm doing nowadays

Now i go.... will blabber on for you guys to satisfy whatever cravings you have for me.. HAHA...

*winks*

The last time i posted was after exams if i'm not wrong. 'Holidays' started but not for the year 2 who were going onto year 3. Started my project at NUS. Currently doing on plants. It's quite simple actually, i think. Just extracting the protease and protease inhibitors, and characterising them into different classes od amino acids. Quite slack. Cuz my supervisor is quite slack on us. Really own time own target. Anytime you wanna go off and go off. So normally Pam and i start our experiments about 10 and we go home at 1 plus. Cool huh? But what's the point of going home early when Robz is still having work.

He damn poor thing... Attached to such a faraway place. Ok. I know S'pore is not very big.. but he's attached to DHL(Exel) which is like at the most eastern part of S'pore, more accurately, the air freight centre. But glad that he got along well with his colleagues. Not forgetting Junwei, who is one of his 'good' friend who is also attached there... who is also my *ahem* ex-crush. Anyway, holidays are ending soon and it's back to school time. Just had my tennis tournament a week ago. Lost. To a SUPER DUPER consistent player. Haiz. Wasted alot alot ALOT of points. Could have attacked much better. Will train up on attacking shots.

HAPPY NEWS TIME!! ROBZ WON DOUBLES!!! YAY!!! = ) So glad for him. He's the champion for men's doubles along with his partner Wilson. Wilson, I promise i'll go book my driving test soon along with Robz. = )

Kare! So proud of you. = ) *muack*

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Mug Mug Mug.....= (

My blog has been hibernating since..... i dunno when. Lolz.

Here's some updates. Exams next week. Am mugging night and day for it. Causing me to have breakouts. Losing quite alot of hair due to hairpulling when stressed and not meeting my Kare.. =` ( Miss u lots, Kare!

My poor kare! His wallet got stolen in the bus on the way for his dental appointment with me. In the end, no dental appointment and no wallet. He had exam in the afternoon too...That means he entered the exam hall without any form of identity (John Doe??). Lucky he was still able to do his exam which i dunno how he managed to identify himself. But hope he'll take it as a lesson learnt. DON'T LEAVE YOUR VALUABLES UNATTENTED OR CREATE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR OTHERS TO STEAL.

It reminded me of how i lost my beloved samsung handphone. Haiz. I guess i create an opportunity for others to steal. Kind of like presented a temptation for them. But now, i've learnt my lesson. Hope the person who stole my handphone or kare's wallet will soon regret, be remorseful and realise his/her own mistake before he/she makes another bigger mistake like robbing or shoplifting.

Talking about my old phone. My old phone was the purple/metallic version of Samsung E530C. Now it's the pink/white version of it cuz when i got the replacement phone, the purple one has sold out. Just thinking about this makes my blood boil. When i still had my purple phone, this 'classmate' of mine was commenting on how SHE had wanted to get the same phone but she loved the pink/white version better and said the purple looked like a very odd colour. Then i made a comment on how ugly the white looked cuz the purple version had purple metallic shell rather than the white shell. Lolz. Then unfortunately, i had to lose my beloved phone and had to settle with the pink/white. Guess what!!!!! On the last week of school, she walked into lecture hall and showed off her new samsung purple/metallic phone!! ARGH!!! That really infuriated me!!!! And one of my classmates looked at her phone and commented, 'Isn't this like Ei Leen's phone?' I was just sitting 2 rows behind her....I was fuming!!!!! She replied that she was aiming the E530c for a very long time. Ok...Whatever. Quoting from her, 'Zhe ge purple hen qi kuai leh', which literally means, the purple was quite a weird colour. Damn you. -_______-

Well, that was not the only incident that proves that she's a little..... irritating. Lolz. To those of you who knew me for quite awhile, you would have noticed that i would wear this red/green/black beads thing on my wrist. Suppose to be a necklace but i preferred them on my wrist, so i kinda twist it around my wrist which made it looked like a bundle of bracelets. Wore it quite often to school and out. Well, well, well, NO prizes for guessing!!!! She!!! That same girl who got the purple/metallic phone! She copied me!! She did the same thing as me!! She got a pink beaded necklace and twisted it around her wrist!! ARGH!!!!!! She wears it almost everyday.. wonder if she actually took it off when she bathes cuz it looked like she twisted the beads around her wrist too many times and looked stuck on her wrists forever. But... it's not like i care. Will she just stop following my fashion style?! It's not like i have a good fashion sense...but hello!! Stop copying me..... Please... have your own sense of style lar. Somehow at the start of joining this class, she was ok... but after a while...the more i see her, the more i don't like her. Argh!... Such a irritating girl. I know lots of people is starting not to like her cuz of her personality, character..whatever. Hope she realises why one day.... Somehow i hope she stumbles upon this site to read up alittle about herself here..but somehow, i wish she wouldn't... cuz i'm badmouthing her. But.... Aiyah.. whatever, i'm just spitting out my annoyance. It IS.. afterall, MY blog. = )

Good luck to those who'll be stuck with her in the same class or attachement...or whatever in the future. Damn.. hope i'm not the one.

Attachment starting soon. 6 March. Right after exams end. I have only a weekend to enjoy myself. = ( So bloody short. Argh... my supervisor is another problem! Pammie~! We're gonna suffer under her hands! =' ( Hope nothing goes wrong.

Started my driving lessons. Learning manual. Driving's fun! Surprisingly, the instructors were not that bad. Not like some people who described them as DOM (Dirty Old Man). They were actually quite friendly and my lessons had been going smoothly except for this malay guy who kept dozing off during my 7th lesson. I wondered if my ride was so smooth until he manages to doze off. *scratches head*

Whee! Has a blast yesterday. Met up with my bunch of closest friends fom secondary school. Finally! We managed to gather as 5 of us again! Like what.. after 2+ years! Had a great time. Felt really good to see them again. Lynette!! Liyana! Missed you guys alot! Was really very reluctant to leave..but i had to mug for exams. Nette! Muz remember our backpacking trip yar? Heh heh... = ) We'll go exotic places! Lolz. Once again, thanx guys..... for the happy moments. Will load up the photos once i get from Von.

K. Back to mugging again. OHOH!! Thanx Mirza..for the mortal kombat games. Had a fun time playing it! Heh heh... really addictive. I LOVE Fatality! Lolz...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

At my aunt's house for dinner

muack muack!

dun push me!

In malaysia

The 5 of us~!

We've done it!

Our fondue stall was okay.... it's alright lar...

Though i fell sick on the day itself and that night itself. = (

Now to welcome the new year, i'm sick. = (

Robz just had a surgery on his right calf...Now he has a size of 50 cent coin hole on his calf. His right leg is slightly smaller than his left now. My poor KARE!!! Tears flowed when i left him on monday night to go home when he was scheduled for emergency surgery at the stroke of midnight. He had to undergo general anesthetic. Poor thing!! = (

But glad it was over and he was discharged the next day. Now he has to clean his wound everyday, which hurts like hell.....

Haiz!! Poor thingy....

Will load up my fondue stall photo...

Enjoy the new year ppl... Enjoy the goodies~!

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Tired!~!!!

I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep...... I wanna sleep......

- ____________ -

Man... i'm so tired i keep collasping in the bus on the way home from school. Bus ride in the morning is not that bad...but when coming home, i'm struggling to keep my eyes open.....- ___-

I guess it's not as bad as my bro whom goes to work at 8 and comes home at 6.30am. Lol. Now that's bad! Guess the CNY is around the corner, lots of companies struggling to audit their accounts. Poor thing.

Lots of stuffs going on. 2 projects due next week, PLS people!! Come support me at my Choco fondue stall. = ) Promise it'll be delicious!!! Cuz i'll be the one preparing the chocolate! = P *Yumz* Another project due after CNY, 2 common tests after CNY. Wah piang. How to enjoy my new year?!

Sorry dear friends!! Really no time to go out with u guys... I'll try to make time soon k. Lol...= )

Dear friends... enjoy the coming CNY celebrations!! *Ooo! My fringe has grown longer.. haha.. not as weird as b4. Lol.

Take care Licia, Yx and Pammie darlings...= )

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Err...

I went to do my hair today. I looked like a barbie doll with shoulder length hair! Lolz. Er.... Don'tthink everyone can accept my new look...haha.. Not even me. = P

But hope i'll grow to like and eventually love it..since it's er... my hair...

Hope it gets better when CNY approaches.

Tomorrow starting school again...!!! = (

Miss my Kare lots..

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

*BIG Smiles*

Hellllll ya!!!!....I'm definitely feeling better these days. Maybe i'm just trying to take things easier. No hard feelings whatever.... No holding on to grudges or whatsoever. Life seems to be much easier. It's especially nice to meet and hug Kare after such a stressful period. Yay! I'm going blading tomorrow with him and his cousin. Went blading last friday too. Had so much fun suaning his cousin cuz he doesn't know how to blade. Taught his gf too. Both of them so cute lorz. His cousin is 30yrs old btw. Haha... Zhen shi huo dao lao xue dao lao.. Heh heh...

Whee...just finished my common test today. I seriously dislike this semester. Hello?! Every module is a memorising thing. DNA, machines and cell culture medium sterile techniques are fixed. So what's left to LEARN? Nothing. It's fixed, nothing else to be discovered anymore. Just memorise and vomit all out during exams. = )

Since it's over, time to enjoy! And it's time to embrace another coming holiday! Chinese New Year! Wah!! Imagine all the bak kuas, pineapple tarts and all the new year goodies i get to enjoy! Heh heh... Sure put on weight la. Nvm. I need to alter my new year dress. Tried it on the other day and argh!!! I looked pregnant! There's so much extra cloth around my waist. Need to go alter to a smaller size. = P

Wooo! Saw Dao king today. He really lived up to his nickname. *rolls eyes* I was sitting barely 1 metre away from him on the bus and i was invisible to him until i poked him hard on the arm. Haha~! He deserved it. Always so dao. *Hmpf* But glad to see him after such a long time. Wonder what's he doing now for studies....Hmm..

Oh dear...i miss Kare sooooooooooooo much..... *hugz Kare tightly*

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Wheee.......

Okee...i hoped that everyone had enjoyed their holiday! More to come yar.. juz 5 more days and it'll be the begining of another new year! Time passes soOooOo fast yar?

For the poly people~..Please rmb to study k! Lolz.

For those still having hols.. enjoy while u can! = P

Take care everyone...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

The sweetest friendship picture...= )

My My....

Ok. This is freaky.

I've experienced this not once but twice.

I remembered that a few months ago, i wanted to blog about my frustrations as i have juz quarrelled with my mom. I blogged, i vented my frustrations and clicked publish blog. But guess what, the whole computer hanged on me! I had to restart my comp. But by the time my windows loaded up, i felt that it's a waste of time to reblog again since i've already 'written' out or 'got the frustrations' out of my system. It's like i wasn't meant to blog that entry. Or that entry wasn't meant to be shown. *weird*

Ok..The 2nd time happened 2 days ago. I kinda had a misunderstanding with Robz and er...i wanted to blog about my sadness, anger and blahblahblah. But guess what, i couldn't even load the damn internet explorer. In the end, i couldn't blog at all. I wanted to go microsoft word to actually type it out and save it later then load it up. But...isn't that gonna so troublesome? Since i'm gonna badmouth about someone and myself. Then i thought, what the heck...go and sleep.

Noww......realising this, i think i might either have a guardian angel beside me, so that i won't blog rubbish or blog something about someone that's totally innocent. Prevent me from misunderstanding someone or something... Or maybe God's watching over me so that i won't do something stupid and cause more misunderstandings. Coming to think of it, i wonder what'll happen if i really blogged those 2 entries... About my mum, about my kare. Maybe it'll not make me realise that i was partly to blame for what happened like what i now actually realised. Oh well, if nobody gets what i mean, never mind. What really matters is that nobody gets hurt after any bad entries. Right, Guardian angel?

I've gone mad.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

That damn IDIOTA!

Where's INTEGRITY when i need it the most?!

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

I'm back... Heh heh

Okee..After weeks of being MIA. I'm back! Juz came back from Malacca on Sunday. Went for a weekend break at my uncle's resort. Unfortunately, i was kinda having a flu on friday. And on Sat, it flared up and erm... i kinda suffered there. Using up boxes of tissues and got my nose really swollen. = P

Was really busy for the past weeks cuz of Tennis IVP. Yay! We won! Heh heh. But next year, Rita will be gone and DIE! I'm the only year 3 for the girls team. Jia lat. But hope that new members will come in from the year 1s. = )

Both guys and girls won. Yeaaaa!!~ Haha... = )

My FYP is a lil' screwed up. Trying to do some damage control so...... I apologize if my behaviour is a little erratic or unforgivable for the next 2 weeks. Sorry. I ask for everybody's understanding.

PAM!!! We'll get through this yar? *Prays* ....Real hard...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

*Sigh

Nono... Saying that all unchanging things are boring is not true. Sometimes things or people need to retain a little bit ( or maybe alot) of the old flavour in order to identify that it is still itself. I mean, you can expect people to change 100% just because you think he or she doesn't excite or appeal to you now right?

Haiyah...don't know lar.

I hate to adapt to new environments.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Changes

Changes are inevitable.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

!@#$%^**(*^#

ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to vent my anger. I just can't stand it.
ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

#!$@%@#^%&^%$%&^#^&$%^#$$%^Y$%^%^%$%~!$$%#^&^%

Why does it seem like he doesn't understand me anymore?! He made me more angry by asking me WHY!! ARGH! Idiota!!

WHY WHY WHY?! I want to know why i'm feeling this way too!..............

Maybe i hate changes. But why must things change?! Why can't it be the same all the time?! Why do people have to change? Why do some people have to go back on their words?! Why can't i just remain 17 all the time?!

WHY!?

I hate change.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Sheesh.....!

I broke down in Kallang Tennis court today. I sound like a crybaby. But i couldn't help it. Was psychoing myself not to let emotions take over me but... the tears just spilled. The guys were bullying me. Thought i was used to it after 1 1/2 years...but still, it took an effect plus i wasn't playing that well today.... So.... Yea.... Haiz....

The girls team is pathetic. There's only 2 girls.

-_______________-'''

Anyway... The ride home was horrendous!*Horrors and horrors!!* So many lightnings! And i mean ..... Damn scary lightnings. Can even see the streaks!... Horrors! There were so many of them. Don't even feel safe in the interchange..... Thunders were damn loud too... Argh.. Where is he when i need him?

.........

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

An eye opening day.... Maybe only a lil'....

Okee... interesting day. Ok, night. It was an interesting night.

Robz and Jensen came over. Robz recently joined a company.... You can say he's a -learninginprogress- marketing agent. Lolz. Well, the only reason i let him join is that he'll be learning a skill, which of course, is marketing. Pssst! Btw... I hate marketers. Maybe it's because i lack a sweet tongue, that's why i'm jealous of them, i guess. But somehow, i just don't have a good impression of them. Yar..... Anyway, had them over so that Robz could have a chance to practise to present the product to my family. But.... He failed. Terribly, in my opinion. *Sorry kare. But that's what i think. Yea... Maybe you can interact well with strangers but somehow can't relate well with strangers.

This whole thing reminded me about myself about 1 1/2 years ago when i went for a interview for a position as a Dental Assistant. Hello?! My parents used to nag at me to brush my teeth, don't eat so much sweets. Used to bluff the school nurse that i have my own dentist to skip dental appointments blahblahblah. Okeee....i fear the dentist. So now what? Be a dental nurse? Lolz. But still i decided to try it out with the encouragements of my parents and aunt. Go, they said. Try it out. Learn more skills and how to interact with customers blahblah. Learn to have a boss. Hey! I really enjoyed working there! I've learnt so much things that i could never learn from the textbooks.

Like how to multi-task. I must learn to assist the dentist, hand him instruments, prepare the procedures in operations while answering phonecalls or even handle a patient that's waiting for his/her appointment outside. Hey! I lost so much weight while i was there! Think about 4 kg. Cuz i've to run round the clinic, handle suppliers, take stock, wash instruments, take appointments, be aware of fussy or impatient patients, blahblahblah. It was really great! I learnt so much! And i'm surprised that i actually enjoyed the experience.

So... As for Robz. I hope that he's not in it just for the money but also for the things that he'll eventually learn. Like how to handle different customers, how to handle crisis and must remember to do homework! Homework as in... know the product until like it's your own palm. When i was a dental nurse, i MUST know my facts very well. I must know what happens to gums and teeth when this happens or when that happens. Cuz you'll never know what the customer or patient will ask. Trust me, people do ask the weirdest questions. Basically, i must know about 85% of what the dentist learnt in medical school. Lol. So.... For Robz, maybe he has to know the scientific basis of the product blahblahblah... basically, know the product until like you're the one who invented it. You must also learn how to convince or assure your customer blahblah... The presentation and the overalls. The way to handle different kind of questions... Most importantly, you must be versatile. Able to think damn fast and shoot damn fast answers. Yea... It's definitely a damn good skill to learn. Definitely a damn difficult skill to master too. I totally agree that it's very difficult to be versatile and learn how to handle different kinds of situation, cuz you'll never know what kind of people you're gonna meet. So we must learn the different kind of approaches on how to placate or assure or convince a person.

Anyway..... Tonight just reminded me of how i stepped into the real world 1 1/2 years ago. I've seen the ugly side and of cuz, the nice side of the real world. I definitely did learn something out of the 6 months when i worked at the clinic. I hope Robz will learn something out of this experience too.

I'm exhausted.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

=` (

Only left a week!

I need to pass my Final Theory. Wish me luck.

Will meet Nicholas since he's going off to Australia ( I think) for army training. Guess it'll be a goodbye lunch.

Hopefully can spend more time with Robz before holiday ends. I hope to eat my Pepper Lunch soon. Lolz. = P

And my Sushi buffet. Heh heh. Must really lose weight when school reopens. Haha...= P

Hope to see everyone real soon when school reopens!

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

My damn packed day...

Oof! *plonks onto the computer chair*

Yesterday took a toll on me. Woke up at 2am to paste 3 Salopas tapes on my right calf cuz it was cramping. Wore the retainers to sleep last night. Wah.. gave me such great headaches, hence my grouchy mood.

Sorry Kare. Was a little bad mood yesterday.

Now my mood is even worse than ever. STUPID IDIOTIC KOR. WHY YOU GO OFF THE INTERNET CONNECTION?!?! REALLY SUCH AN IDIOTA! Now my IS class is at 1pm. HAPPY?! ARGH... It's only 8 plus in the morning and my mood is like...argh! already....

Sorry kare... for whining at you just now. Sorry...i know it's like 8am in the morning. But i can't help it. I hope u get the classes that you want later at 10am. Sorry... See lar. Stupid Ei Leen. Make the people around you suffer too. Haiz.

Haiz.

Met Pammie, YX and alicia yesterday for lunchie! Had Carl's Jr. Truthfully, i ate until my jaws hurt. Had Double western bacon cheeseburger. It was really delicious! The size of the burger was like the size of Alicia's head! It's a layer of of streaky bacons, 2 beef patties and 1 layer of onion rings. Ooo... everybody should know that i dun take onions. But the rings were.... REALLY nice. Haha...= P So every mouthful only consisted of maybe bread and onion rings or bread and beef patties. Cuz my mouth couldn't fit the whole mouthful of burger... if u get what i mean. Went to Candie Empire at millenia walk. Din know there's this shop there. Must take Robz there sometime soon. Was fascinated with the assortment of candies they have there. I just wanted to have everything! Unfortunately, most of it contain nuts! Argh... I love nuts! But i can't have them. It's juz too bad.

Went Pacific Coffee and yak and yak and yakkkkkkk for like 3 hrs plus. *Girls can really talk huh? But most of it was updating ourselves about one another since we rarly see one another and have a good chat. But am glad to catch up with the girls. Have this nice warm feeling. Hope we'll do it again sometime at Yx's house or something. = )

Met Robz at night for dinner at ToriQ. Was a little upset cuz i thought i could have met him earlier.... But nvm. It's over. Still managed to meet him at least. Will spend the day later with him anyways. Really regretted that i screamed ( didn't really screamed but whined, i guess) at him just now. Sorry dear. Sowwieeee....

Haiz....

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

My apologies...

Internet was down for 5 days. So couldn't update my blog even though i'm so free at home.

Hmm.. Met Alicia and Yx on wed for some get together. Glad to see them after such a long time. Met Von and Celeste in the night. I've rejected both groups of girls to eat PepperLunch becuz of somebody. And both groups responded the same way. Haha... Hey! I've to curb my own saliva from dripping too k! Though i'm so tempted to eat it there and then, i've to resist! All becuz of somebody. Haiz... That somebody better appreciate it. Hmpf~!

But glad to see them after such a long time.

Yay~! Took my braces off! Hehheh... But need to polish... the colour abit... off...Lolz...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Hmmm...

Finally managed to watch The Notebook yesterday. Bought the dvd like..... 1 1/2 years ago? Was super touched by the story. Though i've read the book before and kind of knew what the story was about, but in less than 30 mins into the show, i was moved to tears. = P

I absolutely love Nicholas Sparks books. I know i know. They're love stories. But somehow, every story showed a different kind of love. ( I still read a range of books k. Ranging from mysteries, action, thriller, romance, -idunnowhatgenreisDanBrown'sbooksunder- to detective stories). As long as it has a good storyline, i won't mind reading it. = )

Hmm.. The movie was really touching. Showed me how reality clashed with everthing. Well, it is kind of true that parents mind the status of the other person's family that you're gonna marry into. I mean, for example. For a girl, the parents would actually be quite concern over the bf's job and how much he's making. Would he be able to support her and stuffs. True... But sometimes, i feel that people have to look past the materialistic world. Sometimes, money and status is really not everything. Yea...initially it would matter, in the eyes of relatives and would you be able to proudly show off your other partner. I mean, it is kind of embarrassing if people ask what your partner does for a living, and you reply, ' In the environment business'. But in reality, he may be a garang guni or rubbish collector or something. Or worse, the girl is actually holding a higher post than the guy and she's actually bringing home the bigger piece of bread. Parents of the girl must be thinking -- why is my daughter suffering? She should be the one who's being pampered!

But i guess in this new century... People are much more open minded. Some people believe that love conquers all... blahblahblah. But i guess everyone has to be rational in making such choices. We must think of the future, the consequences of our actions, what we, ourselves actually want and not what others like parents, relatives want. Cuz ultimately, the choice is yours. And we must be responsible for the full brunt of consequences that may happen. If you think the other party is able to make you feel like your natural self, no pretending no faking expressions or feelings, able to make you feel whole and complete, yea.. i guess that's the one. If hanging out with him or her makes you feel trapped, incomplete, faked, and always compromising your happiness, i guess there's no happy ending. Cuz one day, you'll realise that you need freedom.. You'll need to be free and express your true self. Maybe by then, it'll be too late to return. Cuz you'll only live once. So people! Please make rational choices! Lolz...

Well, the movie reminded me of Robz. Muz get him to watch the show. Haha.. That's a difficult task. The movie made me remember the times i've spent with him. Ahh~~...those precious memories. Learnt so much from him, gone through so much. But no regrets! Treasure him lots.... = ) Geez... Even inspired me to message him at 4am to thank him for being with me even though i'm such a b**** sometimes. = P Haha... But i'm really glad to have him by my side.......

He keeps me warm!!!

Sorry for being so sappy... Lolz.. Blame the female hormones...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Sigh~....

In a blink of an eye, holidays are ending soon... Left about 3 weeks more. = (

But i'm quite happy on how i spent my holidays. I've learnt how to manage my time well between my family, Kare and well...maybe not my friends. But i'm trying! I still have a date with Alicia and Xia. Maybe swimming or dinner... Suppose to meet Celeste, Lynette, Von and Liyana... but some couldn't make it. So it was cancelled. Hope we can still arrange a time to get together. Really miss all of them. *Sigh*

Well, at least i managed to spend quality time with my dear mum. Really enjoyed the time spent with her. I really did enjoy her company. = ) We didn't have to do much. Just ate lunch, tea snacks together, shopping... going to her favourite shops, trying clothes and stuffs. It was actually quite... comforting, i would say. Why? Becuz i think i feel that i'm much closer to her now after that dramatic episode. Though sometimes there're disagreements, but hey, who said life was without ups and downs? She's still my mum after all.. Love ya, Mummy! *Heeee* = D

Kare! We still have so much to do together! So much things to complete before holiday ends. Thanx for the soft toys! Was really a great surprise! You really pulled off tricks very well! Still can't believe that you tricked me into that movie stall and test my reactions for the Nightmare Before Xmas toys! *hUmpf* No fair. I'll get back at ya! U'll see!~

But still.... Happy 1 year! 1 year~! Love the memories! Love the 1st day actions and reactions. Haha~... Cute!~ *mUackz*

Okee.. Now for the serious stuffs. Got back results. I'm reallllllllllly disappointed in my results. But the weird thing is, i did better in the subjects that i thought i would do badly. Maybe i concentrated too much in those subjects and compromised my performance in the subjects that i thought i would surely do well in. Maths!!! Argh!!! Can't believe that i got a B for it. Damn those Stats! Argh..... GPA dropped but still quite satisfied with it.

**Hey classmates! Thought of which IS class to enrole in? I've no opinion cuz all choices seem quite blah to me. Lolz... Inform me about the choices before enrolement date k! Please? = )

Oh ya~! Tournament. Erm...... Let's be humble about it. Hm.. I would say I'm satisfied by how i played that day. Robz said i played well. Though my opponent noticed my weak forehand and slightly stronger backhand, I still waited for my chances and went for winner shots at the appropriate time. I was quite amazed that it worked! Haha... I guess patience and smart playing is really important in tennis. But at least i'd learnt something out of the match. I knew what i needed to work on, which is to chalk up on my match play experience. I need to learn how to manage the big points. My building up is good. But i need to work on how to close the point. Hey! At least i know my groundstrokes aren't that bad after all! Heh heh. I was serving okay that night. Only 1 double fault. Return of serves was good! Smacked some angle shots. Opponent couldn't reach some. Amazing huh? Most winners are forehand winners. Even more miraculous huh? Lolz... Considering how wobbly my forehand is. Haha... It's weird. But i really enjoyed the match. Learnt so much. Can't wait to play tennis now. Haha....= P Must get ready for IVP in mid Nov. Sylvia!!! Where are u?!!?

K.. enough for 1 night.

Hope to see everyone soon!~

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

uh oh..

Super worried. Super nervous.

Positive thinking... Positive thinking... Positive thinking... Positive thinking...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

I'm Freeeeeeeee~~~!!!

Yea.. I'm free.. Free from exams. At least for about 2 months anyway. = ) It's been a long time since i've blogged. I mean, don't blame ME.. Blame the damn difficult modules i have to take during year 2. Exam was done quite smoothly. I mean, err... i'm quite happy with how i did for the papers. Except for AMB i guess. The notes are really useless lo. I think they should rewrite the notes for AMB. I mean, 60% of what came out for the paper is not found in the notes. Then how would we, the students know how to answer when we don't even know what was it about? Okeeee... Maybe i'm exaggerating, but hey? It's feedback right? I still think they should improve on the AMB notes.

Holidays are here! My goals for this holiday are

1. To go for driving lessons and hope to get my license soon
2. Play well in my tournament
3. Spend more time with Mum
4. Spend more time with Robz
5. Read more books!

My papa only allows me to drive HIS car if i get a license from UBI. Yes. In other words, i cannot drive his car if i graduate from AMK, or bukit batok, or some other places. Why? Because the most skilful drivers come from Ubi. Lolz. Why? Because of the traffic and the roads at Ubi. Lolz. Haiz. He's restricting me lo... But hey, i would rather be a more skilful driver yar? But i still can't imagine myself DRIVING. I mean, the car is so biggggg... And the driver's seat is at the right hand side. The biggest fear i guess would be i can't judge the left hand side. Why can't they just invent cars with a central driver seat? So that the driver can estimate the EQUAL space of the left and right hand side?

Am reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons currently. His books are so... extraordinary! Really enjoy reading his books. Read The Da Vinci Code already. Which made me think that Dan Brown's really creative! I mean, it's really quite a feat to link everything together. It's really a highly recommended book. Yea, like what Robz said, it's something like a pagan's book, but hey. I really think there's no harm reading any kind of book. If it's interesting and keeps sucking me into the book, then it IS a good book. When i read Angels and Demons, it really kind of enlightened me. For those of you whom already read the book, i don't think you guys really took notice on this 1 and 1/2 pages. i'm gonna repeat it here cuz i really think it touched a raw nerve in me.

Chartrand (Ch): A security guard, Camerlengo (C): Right hand man for the Pope

Ch asked C, 'The Bible describes God as a omnipotent and benevolent deity.'

* Omnipotent- benevolent means God is all powerful and well-being.

But Ch says there's a contradiction because if God is powerful AND well being, then why would there be pain, sufferings, human tragedies, sickness.. etc. Human tragedy seems like proof that God cannot be powerful and well being at the same time. If He loves us and has the POWER to change our situation, He would prevent our pain, wouldn't He?

C frowned, 'Would He?'

Ch says,' Well, if He loves us, He can protect us. He would have to. It seems He is either omnipotent and uncaring, or benevolent and powerless to help.'

*Ahh.. this is the part were it gets enlightening. I admit, this is one question that's been bugging me about Him, and i never would have thought that my answer would be answered by this book. Lolz.

Camerlengo asked,' Do you have children?'

C said no. C says, ' Imagine you have an 8 yr old boy, would you love him?

'Yeaaa.. Of cuz.'

'Would you do everything in your power to prevent pain in his life?'

'Of cuz.'

'Would you let him skateboard?'

*Haha, this question surprised me. Imagine a camerlengo asking a security guard this question. Lolz... it cracks me up...= D

'Yea, i guess. Sure, i'd let him. But i'd tell him to be careful.'

'So as this child's father, you would give him good, basic advice and then let him go and make his own mistakes?'

'I wouldn't run behind him and mollycuddle him, if that's what you mean.'

'But what if he fell and skinned his knee?'

'Then he would have to learn to be more careful.'

' o, although you have the POWER to interfere and prevent your child's pain, you would choose to show your love by letting him learn his own lessons?'

'Of cuz, pain is part of growing up. It's how we learn.'

'Exactly.'

So... what dayya all think? Cool eh? It's so simple yet has such a deep meaning. By this time, i was thinking. Hey! God is kinda Great eh? Well... Ok. He IS Great. Lolz. He's like a parent to us all and we're his children. He loves us. I mean, hey. If we didn't have exams, how would we know to treasure our holidays? Yeayeayea, now i know how precious holidays are to me. Haha... Yea well. I guess if we didn't fall down and skinned our knees, we'll never know how pain felt like and we'll never know how to be careful. Reflect on this.

Hmm... Yup. So i guess everyone should at least read 1 Dan Brown's book. Lol. I sound like i'm marketing his books. But noooo, maybe we can all learn something from his books. I know i know. Some of u guys are not allowed to read these kind of books. But hey, i really really think there's no harm in reading it. It's just a book. Papers filled with words. Isn't it like reading textbooks?

Ohoh.. There's another thing that bugs me... No offence k! Really no offence!!! I don't wanna get in trouble with the law yea?

Err.. Those Christians, Catholics and Muslims right? For those that are studying science..... Won't you all be learning about evolution and all these contradicting subjects that contradicts the Bible and the .... er... Islam religion?

Eh....i don't knoww........It's just a harmless question.....

I miss Robz........ Why must he goooooooooooo!??!?!?!

Argh... Miss him lots...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Hugz~

We used to long for each other's hugs

Treasuring every precious hug

Treating each hug like a precious gem

I still long for it very much

But how come i feel that you don't feel the same as me anymore?

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo