The feeling of being a 21 year old girl/woman

Alrighty, i'm going to start on the 1st topic.What it feels like to be a 21 year old... (very appropriate - since i've just turned 21 1 1/2 months ago)

There's 2 sides to this topic, the feeling of being a 21 year old girl and a 21 year old woman. Technically, it's suppose to be woman, since turning 21 means you're an adult. But i believe that in everybody, no matter what age you're at (be it 25, 45, 60, or even 100 - there's always a girl/boy/little child hiding in everybody). Well, there are many issues a 21 year old girl/woman can think about, especially matters that concern her future. Examples would be - what does she want her future to be like, what kind of career will she have after poly/uni, what kind of life does she want to have (partying her life away - since she is legal to club/pub, get married without parents' consent (!!!), basically, do stuff she wasn't legally allowed to do when she hasn't turn 21), or have a responsible, stable life, making important decisions that may concern her future endeavours.

As a 21 year old girl, she's thinks she getting old!!!!!!!!!!!! Like seriously. I can't chiong my body now. I can feel that i have less energy (maybe i'm lacking all the bird nest and mummy's nutritious home cook food --*hint hint* mummy *hint hint* -- Haha...). But yea, i know my energy level can never go back to the time when i'm a teen/teenager. I get more tired easily. I feel tired by 9pm. My concentration span is reduced from 45mins to 30 minutes and i have to take a 15mins break instead of a usual 5 minutes break. Geez... I seriously don't know how those athletes can peak when they're 21 -25 years old. I felt old when i reached the big 2-0 last year....

She also misses her teen/teenage years, where she can do whatever she wants, no inhibitions. Now, she can't act like a child anymore. She realises that whatever she does (be it by action/words) can impact and affect others. She also has more responsibilities and roles to take on such as providing for her parents as soon as she starts working, thinking about what she needs to achieve in her education in order to have a good and stable career later in life, the decisions she make that might impact her education and future career (therefore, she has to ponder for a longggggg time in order to make the right decision - the correct steps to take). Example: Is taking honours necessary? Is taking PhD necessary? Or is it only what i want and not what i need? Is there enough time to complete my studies?

As a 21 year old woman, she's dealing with issues associated with her future such as marriage (since quite a few of her friends surrounding her are already getting/or already married). I'm just wondering how do those people have enough $$ to actually hold a wedding, get a house blahblahblah. I was just calculating how much i have to save/earn in order to hold a wedding (just the wedding, not including getting a place of my own or a car) and guess what?! I can't get married till i'm 33 years old.

Anyway, while friends around her are getting marriage proposals, doing up marriage plans, selecting their wedding dresses, she's thinking WHAT'S she still doing? (Still studying?! People have settled down and started shopping like a tai tai or popping out kids!) She's also thinking about what kind of career she's going to have. Will she earn enough so she can get a house of her own 4 years later, to get married, settle down with her love one and later on, set up a family of her own before she turns 30? (The prime time to have kids is before 30. Everything goes downhill after 30.) And don't even talk about having kids!!! How am i going to find the money to support my kids later on?!?! Their education... life expenses.... And of course, after she starts working, the first priority is to support her parents, return all the 'investments' her parents had invested in her.

Hopefully, she has enough time to do that.

She also want to fulfill her dreams!!! = )))

Well, not many people know what my dream is (mind you , its 'is', not 'was', cause its not fulfilled yet). I'm still taking a step at a time to achieve my dream, but my dream can only be fulfilled when i have enough capital. To have enough capital, my career has to be able to generate enough capital for me to blablahblahblah..... It's a cycle. Anyway, i'm doing this (my dream) because of my passion for it. I'm not doing it for money, fame or trying to do something different or be somebody extraordinary.

My dream = my passion.

I don't know if any other 21 year old person would feel like this. But that's what i feel and well, the other 21 year old friends i have around me seems to be thinking about these issues too... I wonder if my parents, brother, aunt or any other older people around me think of such stuff when they were a 21 year old.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Happy BA----thday MaMA!!

My beloved mama.... Happy Burp-day! = P

Hope everything we've done makes up for the exams and mugging you have to do during this period. = )

Love you...

http://picasaweb.google.com/esdilays11 \

*updated with a touching video

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

The Realities of the World

I haven't been blogging for a long time (as in REALLY BLOGGING about stuff). The last time i REALLY BLOGGED was eons ago, i guess. All this while, i've been telling everyone about what's going on in my life, but not really discussing about issues.

So here, in the next few entries (hopefully i'll have the time), i'll be blogging about what it feels like to be a 21 year old girl and a 21 year old woman ( i can't deny still being a girl at times, though i've already turned 21 - the reality have yet to sink in), the youngest daughter in a Singaporean family, an overseas student studying in OZ, a girlfriend separated from her boyfriend and being a girlfriend to her friends.

I was inspired to do this little series of entries when i went to bed this morning (mind you, it's not last night, because i had only an hour of zzz this morning before my virology paper at 8am). I just couldn't fall asleep as i was feeling an immense amount of stress.

Stay tuned. It might bore some of you. You can choose to read/comment/leave the blog. It's still MY blog.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Pa, ma... i'm scared i won't do as well for this sem compared to last sem...

What if i don't do well?????????????????????

I can't take it anymore....

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Quote worth sharing

Reach for the moon

and if you miss

at least you will land among the stars

-Unknown-

Alicia's version - Shoot for the tree, land on the ground, shoot for the ground, end up underground.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Baptised!

I got baptised today!

Feels like i'm going to start another phase of life... = )

http://picasaweb.google.com/esdilays11

will load up more photos from Aaron's camera later...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo