Papa Left

Papa left at 11am. Teary goodbye. Not exactly goodbye cuz i couldn't say it. Was choking in my tears. So i just waved. Goodbye sounds bad, cuz it's never a good bye. It's a bad bye. I hate saying goodbye. Sounds like i'll nv see him or anybody i've said goodbye to.
Once papa left, i felt so lonely. I'm all alone in Aussie. Though i have friends here, it's not like my family is here. When pa came with me, it didn't feel so bad. But now that pa has left, i couldn't take the loneliness. How i wish Alicia and Yx would come back from their trip soon. Roy and his parents have gone out. All alone in the house.

Cooked lunch. Miserable meal. The whole house was so quiet, have to play some music to create some noise, hoping it'll help to take away some loneliness. It didn't help. Was crying through mid-meal. Thinking about alot of stuff. Why did i choose to live in a foreign land all by myself, making myself so miserable. I can't take cold. Most people know that by now, and it's like freezing cold here all the time. KARE! WHERE ARE YOU!? But at the same time, i know i must learn to be independent, not to rely on my parents all the time.
I know i have been very sheltered all my life. Even now, i consider myself to be quite sheltered by my loving parents because they have sponsored me to be here. I know i have to pay them back as soon as possible. That is the only thing that drives me now. I must get a job as soon as i graduate and earn money so that i can pay back my parents for whatever they have invested in me and my education.

I appreciate everything much more now. My blanket, made lovingly by mummy, my bolster cover, also made with loving care by mummy. Kare's jacket, mug and nightmare b4 xmas lamp, Dr Lim's book, my photo albums made lovingly by my dear friends. I need all these to survive out here. Thank you so much everybody. I don't think i can make it without these stuff. Thanks pa, for everything. Thanks for thinking about my safety and wellbeing all these while. Thanks for accompanying me everywhere. Will definitely miss your naggings and advices.
The house is nice. Will post the pictures up soon. The drought is still on in Aussie. Therefore, water usage is very important. Each person is only allowed 140 litres a day. That means- 4mins shower per day, 3 flushes per day, small load of clothes to be washed by hand. There's no clouds in Brisbane. Zilch. Zero. Clear sky all day. The only good thing is you can see millions of stars at night. I'm serious. Millions. The sky seems to be dusted with stars. Really beautiful. Kare, you should really be here. You'll lvoe it here in Brisbane. Cool and dry weather, stars at night. The bad thing is there's no rain. It's been 6 years since Brisbane has seen rain. Therefore, the drought.

I must be strong. I will strive it out here myself. I must make it back in Singapore in November.
God, give me strength.

xoxoEi Leenxoxo