ARGH~!

Oh man, i don't know what has gone over me. But after talking to Robyn, i felt much better? It's like finally somebody knew my problem? I mean, it's not like as if i want everybody to know, i guess i just needed someone to understand my problem. Then, when i was getting ready for bed, i was just thinking about what i should do about me being in the tennis team. Damn, i seriously don't know what to feel man, it's so complicated. Then i just started breaking down and cried myself to sleep. ARGH~!!! Freak man, hate myself for breaking down just by this 'small' setback. Hmm...Thanx Robyn, though it's really hard to tell at first, u know? I almost cried in the mrt!! ARgh~. Hate myself for being so emotional, but i can't help it!

So, went to NUS yesterday for ivp. I didn't get to play again. Damn disappointed. Don't know with myself, with Rita or with Stan? Haiz, if only those 4 girls get to play, why the hell do u need me there?! Likewise for David and Zester. I don't know how they can tahan knowing that they go NUS 'for fun'. My brother messaged me to ask me will i be playing. When i smsed back, he replied with this, 'Quit the team lar, come back home and eat dinner.' Wah~, suddenly i felt like just taking my things and walking away from the court. But, i dunno what held me there. Pride, i guess. Lucky there was a free court yesterday at NUS, so i get to rally with Zester and Robyn for awhile. But what the hell, i didn't go to NUS specially to rally WITH Zester and Robyn lor!! But anyway, the guys thrashed SP 5 - 0. Cool. But the girls lost again, 2 - 3.

Went for dinner with Robyn and Rudy at Mac at Clementi. Rudy took a cab back, his father offered to pay the taxi fare. Damn lucky. We 2 had to take the poor man's way, the MRT. Haha. So sorry that Robyn has to miss the last train and take a cab. = P. Haha....Sorry~!!!! But it was sweet of you. Oh yar, thanx for lugging my rackets back and to kallang. Haha~! I'm so evil. = P

Going for training le, wonder what's gonna happen today. Don't know what kind of 'insults' must i endure again. =' ( Hope that i would be able to hide my expressions well.....All the best to me!

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo