I never knew this is how i would feel after losing a treasured friendship. I never ever, and i mean NEVER EVER did i ever foresee that this was how it was going to be. Our whirlwind friendship... it only started last year, and it barely lasted a year.
However, all was not lost. I really treasured the chemistry, the good times that we had. I can never imagine that i would find a person so 'like' me. It was seriously 'Leong Ei Leen, but the male version'. Ok... i made him sound like a transsexual, maybe i'm the one like him, but in the female version. Why did things have to end in such an ugly way?
I pray to God, almost everyday, asking Him if i had made a huge mistake in taking a break from our friendship. I think about my biggest mistake almost everyday. I really miss the friendship that we had.
I knew it was not fair to him, but it was all i could think of to stop the mess from getting even messier. Things really got complicated and i really want to put a stop to it. I was tired from untangling all the knots, running away from the knots, giving the knots another chance, coming back to untangle more knots and running away again. Why did it have to become so complicated?
Why can't we just be really good and really close friends? Someone that i can turn to when i have problems, someone i can turn to for advice, someone to hang out with when i need company or when i'm bored, someone i can call to meet up for a quick lunch, someone i can meet up when i need a friend to talk to...
I think i lost one of the most precious finds that could ever be found. I know i should live with no regrets. But there's nothing i can do now. I can't turn back time. I can't erase the past. I just have to live with it.
My biggest regret.
xoxo Ei Leen xoxo
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