Am i?

It was cold... freezing actually, cuz i was wearing sleeveless. I was damn lonely, looking at the empty seat beside me, crying to myself on the stupid bus. Where are his arms? He was suppose to be my jacket, I was not suppose to feel cold again. Am i selfish? Or even demanding? Am i a good gf? What am i feeling like this?

I juz wanted him to send me home. But obviously that didn't happen. I'm always so envious of those couples i see in MRT trains or buses whenever i go home alone. And sitting in front of me were this couple! Bf wrapped his arms around gf to keep her warm and sent her home i guess. Haiz. He couldn't send me home most of the time because it was always getting late. I know i shouldn't be so petty and make a mountain out of a molehill. But sometimes, i juz wanted to feel pampered, i guess. I don't know. The whole journey home (45 mins) today was especially long and tedious. It felt like it was never gonna reach toa payoh or something. I juz wanted to get home and cry. But then, i was so busy with projects that i kinda threw everything to the back of my brain. Until now, when everyone's asleep, i'm awake alone. Forcing myself not to think, but can't. I seriously don't know why. Am i selfish to want him to send me home juz for once? Moreover he promised to send me home yesterday. Though he saw my sad face at the bus stop, he wanted to board the bus with me without his bus pass. But how can that happen? Though i REALLY REALLY REALLY1000000x wanted him to board the bus with me, i pushed him away and tried to pyscho him to go home so that his mum won't scold him for going home late. Am i stupid? Dumb? I really don't know. Or selfish?

But who said love was not selfish?

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo