uh oh..

Super worried. Super nervous.

Positive thinking... Positive thinking... Positive thinking... Positive thinking...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

I'm Freeeeeeeee~~~!!!

Yea.. I'm free.. Free from exams. At least for about 2 months anyway. = ) It's been a long time since i've blogged. I mean, don't blame ME.. Blame the damn difficult modules i have to take during year 2. Exam was done quite smoothly. I mean, err... i'm quite happy with how i did for the papers. Except for AMB i guess. The notes are really useless lo. I think they should rewrite the notes for AMB. I mean, 60% of what came out for the paper is not found in the notes. Then how would we, the students know how to answer when we don't even know what was it about? Okeeee... Maybe i'm exaggerating, but hey? It's feedback right? I still think they should improve on the AMB notes.

Holidays are here! My goals for this holiday are

1. To go for driving lessons and hope to get my license soon
2. Play well in my tournament
3. Spend more time with Mum
4. Spend more time with Robz
5. Read more books!

My papa only allows me to drive HIS car if i get a license from UBI. Yes. In other words, i cannot drive his car if i graduate from AMK, or bukit batok, or some other places. Why? Because the most skilful drivers come from Ubi. Lolz. Why? Because of the traffic and the roads at Ubi. Lolz. Haiz. He's restricting me lo... But hey, i would rather be a more skilful driver yar? But i still can't imagine myself DRIVING. I mean, the car is so biggggg... And the driver's seat is at the right hand side. The biggest fear i guess would be i can't judge the left hand side. Why can't they just invent cars with a central driver seat? So that the driver can estimate the EQUAL space of the left and right hand side?

Am reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons currently. His books are so... extraordinary! Really enjoy reading his books. Read The Da Vinci Code already. Which made me think that Dan Brown's really creative! I mean, it's really quite a feat to link everything together. It's really a highly recommended book. Yea, like what Robz said, it's something like a pagan's book, but hey. I really think there's no harm reading any kind of book. If it's interesting and keeps sucking me into the book, then it IS a good book. When i read Angels and Demons, it really kind of enlightened me. For those of you whom already read the book, i don't think you guys really took notice on this 1 and 1/2 pages. i'm gonna repeat it here cuz i really think it touched a raw nerve in me.

Chartrand (Ch): A security guard, Camerlengo (C): Right hand man for the Pope

Ch asked C, 'The Bible describes God as a omnipotent and benevolent deity.'

* Omnipotent- benevolent means God is all powerful and well-being.

But Ch says there's a contradiction because if God is powerful AND well being, then why would there be pain, sufferings, human tragedies, sickness.. etc. Human tragedy seems like proof that God cannot be powerful and well being at the same time. If He loves us and has the POWER to change our situation, He would prevent our pain, wouldn't He?

C frowned, 'Would He?'

Ch says,' Well, if He loves us, He can protect us. He would have to. It seems He is either omnipotent and uncaring, or benevolent and powerless to help.'

*Ahh.. this is the part were it gets enlightening. I admit, this is one question that's been bugging me about Him, and i never would have thought that my answer would be answered by this book. Lolz.

Camerlengo asked,' Do you have children?'

C said no. C says, ' Imagine you have an 8 yr old boy, would you love him?

'Yeaaa.. Of cuz.'

'Would you do everything in your power to prevent pain in his life?'

'Of cuz.'

'Would you let him skateboard?'

*Haha, this question surprised me. Imagine a camerlengo asking a security guard this question. Lolz... it cracks me up...= D

'Yea, i guess. Sure, i'd let him. But i'd tell him to be careful.'

'So as this child's father, you would give him good, basic advice and then let him go and make his own mistakes?'

'I wouldn't run behind him and mollycuddle him, if that's what you mean.'

'But what if he fell and skinned his knee?'

'Then he would have to learn to be more careful.'

' o, although you have the POWER to interfere and prevent your child's pain, you would choose to show your love by letting him learn his own lessons?'

'Of cuz, pain is part of growing up. It's how we learn.'

'Exactly.'

So... what dayya all think? Cool eh? It's so simple yet has such a deep meaning. By this time, i was thinking. Hey! God is kinda Great eh? Well... Ok. He IS Great. Lolz. He's like a parent to us all and we're his children. He loves us. I mean, hey. If we didn't have exams, how would we know to treasure our holidays? Yeayeayea, now i know how precious holidays are to me. Haha... Yea well. I guess if we didn't fall down and skinned our knees, we'll never know how pain felt like and we'll never know how to be careful. Reflect on this.

Hmm... Yup. So i guess everyone should at least read 1 Dan Brown's book. Lol. I sound like i'm marketing his books. But noooo, maybe we can all learn something from his books. I know i know. Some of u guys are not allowed to read these kind of books. But hey, i really really think there's no harm in reading it. It's just a book. Papers filled with words. Isn't it like reading textbooks?

Ohoh.. There's another thing that bugs me... No offence k! Really no offence!!! I don't wanna get in trouble with the law yea?

Err.. Those Christians, Catholics and Muslims right? For those that are studying science..... Won't you all be learning about evolution and all these contradicting subjects that contradicts the Bible and the .... er... Islam religion?

Eh....i don't knoww........It's just a harmless question.....

I miss Robz........ Why must he goooooooooooo!??!?!?!

Argh... Miss him lots...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Hugz~

We used to long for each other's hugs

Treasuring every precious hug

Treating each hug like a precious gem

I still long for it very much

But how come i feel that you don't feel the same as me anymore?

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

~

Time to wake up!!!

Mymy! It's the 2nd last week of school already. Another week would be all my practical exams. Haven't study for it yet. I hope i'll get to it soon enough. Time passes so fast. This 2 month long holidays will be my last long holiday i have in NP. Then it would be 3rd year projects and attachments. Argh....

Exams are starting in about 3 weeks time. Gonna have my exams on consecutive days which is so wrong and so packed. IMM after HGD. My gawd. I should just crush all my papers into marche and eat them up for dinner and breakfast. How?! I somehow knew that i would do quite badly for this sem. I am so dead.

Kare! Help me... Ohoh.. Special thanx to Kare for the sweet surprises and er..thoughtful thoughts. *hUgz*

Kare~~ Rmb it's around this time that we got to know each other? Really brought back alot of memories... Wanna hold your uneven hands! Heh heh..~ Only wwanna hold yours....

Lol. Just as i'm typing this, waiting for Kare to finish his lessons, Yu Xiu my primary school friend was just sitting across from me and i couldn't recognise her. Haha! I didn't even know. Stupid blur me. Saw Junwei too. Maybe couldn't recognise cuz they're wearing formal clothes. Still can accept the fact that Junwei and Robz are good friends. Er.. Always play games and hang out together. Such an irony! ?______?

Oh yar. Yanxia trying to gather all 1M05 people to go Sentosa after exams! I suggest the friday after the exam week.. Which i think should be around 16? Not sure. Tentatively should be that fri since most of us finish exams on Wed. But nowadays keep raining leh.... So cold and gloomy. = ( But very nice weather to sleep tho. Hahaa...

Pam~~ I still don't get to see u around nowadays! Haha... Good luck for exams k. *hUgz*

To Alicia, YX, KC~~ Good luck k! Do well...

To everybody else~~ Good luck.... Sleep well, rest well...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Weird Moi...

Happy 10th month to me and Kare... Had a good day with him but i did naughty things. Haha..! Ah ah.. Don't think dirty things.. I juz skipped Maths lecture ( which is a super difficult thing to decide since Mrs Chan has such sharp eyes! She knows who is absent, every single one) . And i managed to dodge from Kai ngan so that i can't lend him my lappi. Oops~! Lolz.. But it's alright. Everything was good. Rented the vcds Robz wanted to watch, namely It and Happy Gilmore. Juz that i missed my fireworks festival at Esplanade cuz it starts at 11pm. Why so late!!!! Argh... But then, i thought i could catch another fireworks display on tues.

But...Nah... Didn't catch it yesterday either. Thought i could go blading in ther evening and see sunset and then go bridge in time to see my fireworks. But nope. It all didn't happen. I was imaginging this whole scene since last week. Of cuz i'm disappointed that it didn't happen. I was anticipating it the whole last week... But... oh well... i guess it just didn't meant to happen my way.

Anyway, all that happened was that Robz relatives came over and had a party. So... it was not nice to snatch him away to go see fireworks, i guess. So..yar.. stayed there with his aunts and cousins till about 9 and went home. Of cuz i'm sad. I won't deny it. But the weird thing was that i pretended to be alright. So why didn't i make my sadness known?Oh well, it was just meant to be. He owes moi.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

It's been a long time..

Kk.. lots of people complaining that i didn't update my blog these few days.

Hmm...lots of things to review on. CT just passed. In my opinion, i didn't do very well. AMB was sucky becuz of the marking scheme. I wonder who's fault is that if the whole cohort doesn't do well due to the incorrect marking scheme, incorrect marks allocated for the question and incorrect way of asking the question. Give ya an example. If the question asks you to choose A, B, C or D, what would be your answer like? It would only be 1 answer right? Like A or B or C or D. But guess what, the correct answer is B AND D. The teacher said it was the cohort's fault for not asking him about this question during the exam since there are 2 answers. HuH? So you mean all 200+ students are suppose to raise up hands to ask that question?? Not only 1 question ahs that mistake. It's 2 questions for heaven's sake! Imagine how the marks would be improved if the question was stated what it was asking properly! And the teacher had the cheek to say the cohort didn't do so well as expected. What the....

Whatever... IMM was very tedious. When i came out of the exam hall, i felt like i just vomited. Lol. As in vomited all my information out and felt nauseous. Lolz. But it was okay lar, didn't expect myself to score too well either. HGD was okay... Did quite alright. Alot of memorising work. And i just found out why from Jasmine recently. She said that back in India, the indians' system of studying was done mostly by memorising. Ahh.... That is why.. HGD teacher is obviously not local, he's from india. Kavitha the IMM prac teacher's worksheet also needed some memorising work. Not forgetting past year's Physio teacher, who's also an Indian. Wah... her paper is really all memorising work lorz. Ok...now i get it. I'm gonna do what Liyana recommended.. Crush up all my HGD notes and have it for dinner the night before HGD exam. Lolz. But memorising facts is not the way. I believe that when we know the basic facts, we should learn how to apply it in different situations. But! Haven't we ever realise that most indian teachers teach the subjects that needs alot of memorising work? Hmmm.... Yar......... Does that conclude that indians can memorise very well? Okee.. i'm not racist k... I'm just thinking it through.

Maths was alright.. quite please anyway, n=but all mistakes were due to carelessness which pisses me off like crazy. Haiz. My classmates too! Oh my. Is comparing results that important? Of cuz if that person keeps scoring 90 and above for everything, yar, i agree that he/she is pervertic. But.. aiyah..who cares? I worry more about my own results.

Alicia & Yx: Hope you girls did better than me in CT. = ) Take care k..= )
Kare: Good luck for your retest! Will pray for ya and hope that that freak accident won't happen again! Love ya = *

Whee... meeting Von, Celeste and maybe Lynette this friday. Finally. Some reunion time. Miss you guys!

Kare~~ Thanx for spending time with moi... 10 months coming soon~! Haha....= D

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

WHY???

Why are guys such gongheads* at times?

*clueless souls

Dunno why they have a brain sometimes... Maybe at that point of time, all the blood went to the wrong place.

Maybe not only at that point of time. Gave him a full 17 hrs time to realise that i'm still upset!

Stupid... Guys are such dorkheads at times.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

I'm good... i'm good...

Need to improve on my phone skills...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

The one i love hurts me the most

Me....

I've changed. I admit that i've changed over the past 7 to 8 weeks. Probably due to me entering year 2. I know i will change to a slightly different person, because i know that once i'm out of my comfort zone, i'm gone. Not literally mentally and emotionally and physically gone. But i know that i would need alot of time to adjust and cope with my new surroundings.

And yea, everything came true. I've changed into another person. I'm not the same anymore. I know i've changed about 40% of myself. And people around me can't accept the new changes in me. Frankly speaking, i don't either. I dislike my newself. I hope i can return to my bubbly, cheerful and 'don't think too much of everything' self. For the past 7 weeks, i was at lost. I didn't know what to focus on. Whether it's studies, family or myself, i didn't know what to put my priority on. I wouldn't say there was much difference in year 1 or year 2. But that slight difference kind of like twirled me around and made me completely lost. Yea, there was still waking up in the morning, going to school, go for lectures, tutorials, pracs and tennis sessions.

But the environment is totally different. A lecture hall full of strangers, new teachers, much more difficult modules, a class or strangers. Yea, some of you may cope extremely well with new environments. But i guess i can't. I admit that i'm afraid to venture out. Though i came poly to 'make' myself be brave enough to venture out and meet new things, new friends and all, i guess i still couldn't take everything all at once. I guess the transfer to level 2.1 was the thing that made me change. I'm not blaming anything for my change. I guess i have to make myself adjust fast enough well not changing myself. The biggest mistake for the past 8 weeks was to lose my focus. I totally lost it. In the end, my family and my close ones suffered the most.

A really big Sorry to my parents and Robz. Sorry to cause unnecessary worries.

I am trying hard to back to myself and not lose my focus anymore. Apologies to Robz, for all the unnecessary quarrels, misunderstandings, miscommunication and everything that caused those turbulent weeks. It was really a rollercoaster ride huh? Sorry. Love you lotz. Thanx for standing by me.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

He's MY cutie pie...

Pastel colours...

baby hamsters~!!

Geez!!!

OMG.... i lost another 1 kg! Now i'm like only 49kg?!?! What the heck did i do?! I seriously don't know... i ate like ALOT already. So much junk food and fast food... According to Robz, i'm probably losing my baby fats, but i seriously don't see any difference in my size... Still look the same to me... *scratch head*

Ooo! Juz celebrated 9 months with him.. Time passes by super fast huh? And soon, it's gonna be a year and so on and so forth... It's been a great 9 months. Though last month we had a turbulent month but i'm glad everything is over and yupz... Good things happen to anyone who hasn't lost hope. Don't you agree? I guess everyone has to be patient and don't ever lose hope which is super duper important. I mean, if you lose hope, then what's the point of going on? There would be no meaning in everything you do. No drive, no motivation.... So...yupz! Dare to hope, dare to dream.. Cuz they do come true, i believe. Oh right! Believe! Believing is a super duperduper important thing too... So don't lose hope and believe in yourself!

Saw Sher Lin and Ting 2 on....wed i think. Feels weird after not seeing them for a long time. Sher Lin looks tired.. Muz be stressed. *Must take care ar*

Feeling damn sad for Tonic.. Cuz he's behaviour seems a little crazy.. like no more sense of direction and his eyes looked so sad!! So i've decided to exposed the 2nd level by not covering it with paper and allow him to look down at his kids. But now, he seems more sad! Cuz all he does is lie on the floor and stare at his kids from the 2nd floor. And the sadness in his eyes! I feel so sad for him! Hopefully the kids can eat by themselves by thursday and i'm able to put Tonic back with his kids. The kids aren't able to open their eyes yet though.... I wonder how long..

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Wheee...

Finally.. everything is back to normal. Stopped losing weight. Scared me last week when i lost 3 kg! Oops! Nobody could see any difference except Yx and Alicia. Probably they don't see me often. Even i don't even realise it myself. Anyway, from the amount i'm eating nowadays, i should be gaining weight in no time. Lol.

Common test coming.. Time to mug again. I'm still in holiday mood! - ___-''' - School work is Boring-

Update on Gin And Tonic: Tonic's in the 2nd level of the cage. Always eating up the paper i laid to spy on his kids. Luckily i scotch taped the paper to the cage. Guess tomorrow i have to replace the paper again. Gin is doing well, she's spreading her 4 kids to each corner for whatever reasons. The kids have fur now! Greyish tiny fur. Super duper cute! Will try to take pic! Wonder when will the kids be independent enough to allow the family to unite...

Whee...Hope Jasmine will help clear my doubts! Alicia darling too! Hopefully, i'll be saved soon...

Ohoh! Alicia darling~..heard u're sick huh? (From KC) Pls take care k! Good luck for CT! Hope to see u soon! Yx too!! Good luck! *Big hugz*

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

I feel blessed*

Yea... Indeed... I believe i've been blessed with an angel.

Love you lotz..

P.S. Oh yea~! My hamsters Gin and Tonic are proud parents of 4 kids! Heh heh... I really didn't know Gin was pregnant until i was cleaning their cage 2 days ago. Was tilting the hippo house upside down and out came Gin with 2 baby hamsters still stuck with umbillical cords at her 'u know where'... the other 2 babies came spilling out. I'm so guilty! I seriously didn't know she was giving birth! But yea... I'm glad for Gin and Tonic...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Formal clothings

Glow sticks!!!~

Glowsticks make me happy.... Maybe because it's bright and cheery, that's why i like it so much? It's like telling me there's light in every darkness. So don't feel lost, cuz there's hope. Of cuz, it also depends on the person who gives them to me. *Bleah* = P

I have about 5 glowsticks and 1 star given by a special someone... Pink, orange, green, yellow, blue.... How come it seems like he has an unlimited supply of glowsticks? Hmm.... Anyway, it has been a turbulent week... lots of ups and downs.... Hope things will go smoothly!! I'm gonna explode if things doesn't go my way somehow this week.... my mind is really going bonkers! There's just so much to do, so much to think about and so little time to complete all of them. Moreover, i have to think whether the decision i made or chose is alright anot, will it hurt someone, will it be beneficial to others or me or..... i don't know... just feeling so.... compact. So full. But the thing is.... i don't really know it's full of what.... there's just so many things that i don't really know what important anymore.... don't know what's my priority anymore...

Sorry ppl, if i may zone out sometimes......

Argh! I really need to relax... just for 1 day...recharge my batteries and get rejuvenated. Help me!!!

I don't like year 2... I just wish i could turn back time then stop it when i'm in 1M05.... I really miss them alot.. the happy times... *Sigh*

Robz played in the Advance Open today... Won 6-1 6-2... Love his forehand top spins, impressed by it. Wonder how he spin until like that... *there's no word to describe it* ... Whereas MY forehand suck to the core... Argh~. Papa bought me a tennis skirt today, with a white shirt to go along. He said he couldn't imagine me in skirt, playing tennis when he bought it. But when i tried it on at home, he was surprised that i actually looked quite good. Lolz... Papa's funny....

Weird.. i'm updating like twice in a day... Something's wrong with moi.

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

Updating....

Kk... Somebody is complaining for the lack of updates and disappointing my loyal readers. - _____-'''

Well well well, have been really busy as you can see and blogging and going online to surf the net has really taken a backseat. With projects, catching up with lectures and getting everything done at the same time, it's really sucking up all my time and brain juices. Weekends are not as enjoyable when i know i have to burn midnight oil to finish up my online tutorials and maths homework. Tiring ar... i so need Rob's hugs now.

Ohoh!!! Saw Alfian kor yesterday at Toa payoh interchange while having snacks with Robz. He looks quite good now... Lolz...Must have looked weird sitting there munching bread with Robz. But it's these simple things like spending time together doing simple things that keeps me sane. But still, miss him lotz... = )

Hmmm.... Last 2 weeks was quite emotional. Resolved everything in the house. I'm ok with my mum already. I'm glad i told her what i'm not happy about and i told her to not bottle up stuffs anymore. Yupz.. hope that things will go smoother now. *Hugz to mummy* Well, i did try to update my blog about 5 days ago, when i was super angry over my mum, but somehow.....when i wanted to post the entry up, the internet failed me. Maybe it's like what Pammie said. It's meant to be deleted. I remember one of the 10 commandments God said - ' Honour your father and mother'.

That aside.... GSS is gonna be over soon! I wanna buy my white sports shirts!!! Argh! Common test is coming soon. Oh my! It's like week 6 already! Time really passes super fast! Somehow i'm still not comfortable in the year 2 life. It's just so stressed up, tedious..... i don't know. Is it just me or are my classmates super weird? I mean, as time passes by, i got to know them better and stuffs...but somehow, i still don't feel as if i belong there..... And sometimes, i feel so....out of place.. so lonely... so...... foreign.

Hmmm.... i don't know.... just hope i'll do well this semester...

xoxo Ei Leen xoxo

CSI..~